“Apologizing First” Works For Confronting Defensive Family Members As Well As Business Associates

“I use this because I find it very hard to say what I need to say when I know someone is wrong.”


G. subscribed to my minicourse, Integrity: Use It Or Lose It (www.TheIntegrityCourse.com); the beginning of this conversation was about how much she enjoyed my writing — so of course I responded. Then she sent this:
I tried one of your tips of apologizing first and saying I may be wrong before I start and it worked.
I'm dealing with defensive family members who are quite angry at the moment as my mum has just passed away and Continue reading
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Get the Answers You Need in Confusing Situations

When you take risks and operate with integrity; when you consider other people's needs as well as your own; when you think about long term situations instead of short-term gains; and when you really tell the truth; you can achieve amazing results.

Learning to do this well requires skill and practice. This is especially true when you need information in a confusing situation. It's especially true when you're in a situation where a misstep can cause real problems.

The following steps will help you practice the skills you need to achieve results and gain respect in the workplace.

1. Before you ask anything, gather as much information as you can about a situation by careful observation.

* Listen to the topics that are discussed
* Notice topics that are not discussed.
* Pay attention to nonverbal clues-posture, tone of voice
* Notice relative power positions of the people present in the situation-even furniture placement and seating arrangements.

2. Think about what additional information you need to better understand the situation. Look for the missing pieces.

3. Use your intuition. What is your hunch or guess about what is going on? What do you wish you knew?

4. Ask questions only when you are truly unsure of what the answers will be.

5. Listen carefully to the answers that are presented to you. Give it your full attention.

Ask clarifying questions only if you cannot understand the answer you are hearing. Wait until the answer is complete before you comment on it.

Treat everyone with respect – avoid being condescending in any way.

6. Never ask a question when you are already sure what the answer is. The only reason to do this is to catch someone else doing something wrong. If you do this, others will sense it and feel resentful or put down, even if you think you are being subtle.

7. Be willing to be vulnerable. Take responsibility for your own mistakes or lack of information. In this situation, saving face (your own) is not nearly as important as helping others save face!

8. If you feel attacked or challenged by the answer to one of your questions,
do not defend yourself. Respond by stating your understanding of what was said. Ask if your understanding is accurate.

9. Keep asking questions until you are sure you understand what you need to know about the situation, and as long as others are willing to respond to you.

10. Thank everyone who is present.

If you enjoyed this article The Integrity Course will provide much more information I believe will be useful to you. Included in this course are stories of how over 25 people confronted issues about integrity in the workplace. http://www.TheIntegrityCourse.com

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Complete Integrity?

Phil sent this question about The Integrity Course and gave me permission to share it with you.
I don't know if I can handle complete integrity.  I get an offer that includes something questionable, and I bend the rules – or so it feels.  I have had 'sinful nature' hovreing
over me, most of my life.  How do you see this fitting in with the course?

One of the lessons is "Sometimes it Makes Sense Not To Tell the Truth" (not sure of the exact title.) Others are about people faced with dilemmas who do their best.
I try to provide tools to help people make hard decisions when faced with difficult challenges. I don't know anyone who can handle complete integrity. We are all human, ­ including me.
From your note, I think you would find The Integrity Course valuable. It is guaranteed, so if it doesn't meet your needs let us know and we will refund your money.

Learn more about communicating with integrity in The Integrity Course, an online, multimedia home-study course to help you say what you think without getting fired or losing your friends.

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Gifts For You – No Strings! (Expires February 5)

It’s a one-of-a-kind event — yet couldn’t be more timely!
Short version:
Here are some absolutely no-strings-attached gifts available for a very limited time! One of them is my ebook, “I Don’t Need Therapy, but Where Do I Turn for Answers?” that is currently offered at http://www.IdontNeedTherapy.com for $29.77. Do Not Order From That Page.
Go here instead: http://www.solo-e.com/PostHolidayHangoverRemedy

Long version:

Whether you admit it or not, the word resolution goes hand in hand with the start of a new year. Whether you make your resolutions in the form of business goals and priorities, or actual resolutions …. By mid to late January, you’re likely tired of forcing yourself to follow-through on what you set out just a few weeks ago.

In comes Terri Z at Solo-E, a virtual learning resource for solo entrepreneurs, with the Post Resolution Hangover Giveaway. This isn't your typical giveaway…each item is a true gift, not available anywhere else for free! The value of each item is the price at which it sells today. How cool is that?!

The gifts include ebooks, audios, home-study packages and more, on topics including: 101 Ways to Attract Clients, 7 Things You Must Do to Get More Clients, The Facebook Fan Page Intensive, The Online Video Playbook, 5 Psychological Triggers to Turn Prospects Into Clients, Abundance in Business, and The Finding Time Quick-Start Guide.

Solo-E has partnered with several key experts to offer these incredible resources for online based business owners.  For 12 days only – January 25 to February 5, you can download all these gifts at absolutely no cost (and no strings). That's right…you don't even have to give up your email address!

An incredible group of Experts are participating in the Post Resolution Hangover Giveaway, including:

Alicia Forest, Ann Ronan, Loren Fogelman, Tracey Lawton, Allison Babb, Tina Forsyth, Rebecca Zwar, Christine Gallagher, Lou Bortone, Heather Dominic, Laurie Weiss, Laurie Mandato, Zahra Efan, Hazel Palache, Laura West, Eva Gregory, Alicia Smith, Michele PW, Nina East and Paula Eder

Take a few minutes to see what all the fuss is about, and cure your Resolution Hangover! You’ll get access to fantastic resources that you can download and review at your convenience.  Visit http://www.solo-e.com/PostHolidayHangoverRemedy
Remember this offer is only good for until February 5. Check out all the goodies now.


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What is Ethical Business Behavior?

What is Ethical Business Behavior?

Most individuals honestly believe that they operate with high integrity and demonstrate ethical behavior with others in the workplace. The problem is that people often don’t have the same definition of what constitutes ethical behavior. That’s why some business and professional organizations create codes of ethical conduct.

In 10 years of service on the ethics committee of an international professional organization I learned that ethical errors were usually made by people who decided, without consulting others, that there were good reasons to violate the ethical principles they had agreed to abide by.

Several years ago while serving on a committee of the Colorado Ethics In Business Alliance, I helped develop these seven signs of an ethical business.

If you don’t have an explicit professional ethics code that you use for guidance, I invite you to measure your business behavior by these standards. If ethical behavior matters to you – and I hope it does — see how you measure up.

  1. Teach employees how to behave ethically by demonstrating, recognizing and rewarding ethical behavior.
  2. Tell the truth. Fully reveal relevant information to stakeholders and authorities.
  3. Consider the interests of everyone who will be affected by their business decisions.
  4. Treat all individuals and groups with dignity and respect.
  5. Maintain honest and complete communication with employees, customers and the community.
  6. Avoid conflicts of interest.
  7. Demonstrate, encourage and support active involvement in their communities.

(For more information about the Colorado Ethics in Business Alliance visit http://www.cobusethics.org )

Be cautious when you want to make choices that differ from any ethical standards you have agreed to accept. Check your thinking by imagining how you would feel if your choices were reported in a national newspaper. Better yet, consult an advisor you respect before taking action.

If you enjoyed this blog post The Integrity Course will provide much more information I believe will be useful to you. Included in this course are stories of how over 25 people confronted issues about integrity in the workplace. Learn more here.

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