Professional coach come from a variety of different backgrounds, and can assist you to identify and reach different objectives.

A coach with a background of business consulting (with or without an MBA) may have realized that just providing expert advice about a business problem isn’t enough. Although a client may know what to do about a problem, s/he may often have difficulty implementing the solution without ongoing support. The coach provides this support.

A coach skilled in career development may help an unemployed client through the job search process. This may involve helping them identify target companies, write a resume, and learn to present themselves well in an interview.

A life transitions coach may focus on helping her clients discover the unique work path that will help them feel truly alive and successful, instead of on just finding employment.

A financial coach may be a financial planner who provides ongoing support to help you implement the plan you have designed together.

A personal or life coach may come from a background in the helping professions and hold a professional degree, certification or license in psychology, social work, or counseling. S/he may also be a senior member of any field who has broad life experience and training and a commitment to the success of the client.

Choosing a Professional Coach

Choose your coach with as much care as you would choose any other member of your professional support team. First consider the specific support you need and ask your associates whether they know of anyone who can help. A surprising number of people already work with coaches. The expertise of the coach you are considering and your comfort with the person who offers this very personal relationship are both important factors.

You should expect your coach to be committed to helping you define and achieve your own goals. Your coach should help you examine possible courses of action, help you identify and solve potential problems, and support you enthusiastically every step of the way.

Laurie Weiss, Ph.D., Master Certified Coach, is a partner in Empowerment Systems, offering personal and professional development coaching, for women in business. 303-794-5379.

laurieweiss@empowermentsystems.com

Laurie offers a free thirty minute introductory session to readers who mention this article.

[tags]Self-Management,Management,Management Development,Managing Change,Life Transitions,Business Communication,Coaching[/tags]

As we explored her models for relationships, she explained that her parents had a very traditional and very happy marriage. Her mother never worked outside her home, had many interests of her own, and when her dad was home, focused her attention on him. Gillian realized that she was imitating their relationship, without any conscious thought.

She assumed that it was her job to keep Bob happy by doing whatever he wanted to do. Gillian "just knew" that Bob wanted her constant attention, although they had never discussed the issue.

The problem was that working over fifty hours a week, and focusing so much attention on Bob left her almost no time for herself.

She made a list of about a dozen things that she missed doing in her life and started doing some of them. She started with reading books she enjoyed while Bob watched TV in another room. He did not seem to notice.

She progressed to taking a weekend trip with her sister, and their relationship went on pretty much as it had before. She even took the risk of saying she would prefer to play the piano when Bob was working outdoors. He didn’t mind at all, and even started a couple of projects that did not include her.

Several weeks later she cautiously stopped doing some of the little extra tasks she had taken on at work. She cut back her hours, and to her surprise was offered a promotion.

Gillian reported that the most important thing she changed as a result of coaching was to decide that she did not need to be all things to all people.

In fact, the more time she took for herself, the better all her relationships seemed to be. She finally said "I can’t believe how happy I am now. Others are asking me how I changed so much, and I tell them I am now taking as good care of myself as I do of everyone else."

Coaching Tip: When clients understand that behavior patterns are often based on automatically copying past experiences, they find it easier to experiment with new activities.

Additional Information: Visit our blog on Personal Development.

[tags]Self-Management, Telling the Truth,Life Transitions, Making Decisions,Emotional Intelligence,Coaching[/tags]

When Wesley heard that a new senior manager was about to eliminate his department, he decided to get coaching to cope with a probable demotion. Instead, he got very excited about the possibility of resigning and deliberately making a major change, but he did not think the finances could work. He was surprised by an offer of either an early retirement package or an interesting job in another department.

Roy was also apologetic during his coaching call. He had left his job just a few weeks before, carefully putting into place the foundation for a new consulting practice. Instead of continuing our coaching about launching his practice, he wanted to discuss an exciting, unsolicited, job offer.

Have you ever experienced that when you take steps to move in a new direction, a new opportunity comes from an unexpected source? You wonder if the opportunity would have happened anyway, and if you were wasting your time trying to take control of your life. The experience is common, but the explanations for it vary.

One explanation is the spiritual belief system that on a fundamental level, we are all deeply connected, if not all part of each other. Everything is known to everyone, so your intention is not a secret. Scientifically, Chaos theory suggests something similar. A small shift in one area may have a major and unpredictable effect in another.

Another possible explanation is that dynamic energy tends to interact with more objects than stored energy. People who are deliberately expending energy to learn and grow seem to attract more opportunities than people whose lives are static.

While actively exploring new pathways Candace, Wesley and Roy were sending mysterious messages to the universe that they were ready for change, and the universe responded. They each carefully considered their new opportunities before deciding how to proceed.

“Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. For boldness has genius, power and magic in it!” – Goethe

Coaching tip: Expect surprises.
Additional Information: The Integrity Course.
[tags]Coaching,Life Transitions, Making Decisions, New Job, [/tags]

Craig and Marcy were newlyweds. It was a long-distance romance, and they both were delighted when his retirement allowed them to be together. His unspoken plan was to help her with her business so that she could work less, and they could spend more time together. Her plan, also unspoken, was to continue to develop her business in order to sell it in a few years and fund her own retirement.

Craig enthusiastically earned his certification in web design. He found the new information fun and refreshing after years of heavy corporate responsibility. Marcy was delighted that he was busy and happy, until he started to help her with her work. She found his suggestions insulting. It was her business, she was the expert, she supervised many designers and negotiated profitable contracts. Now he, a novice, was trying to tell her what to do!

Warren and Sharon did talk to each other about their plans and goals. Warren felt that his expertise could be put to good use in Sharon’s business. He convinced her that expanding the business would create long term benefits for both of them. She decided to go along with his ideas.

They made plans together, expanded their capacity, hired several new employees, and Warren started pressuring everyone to be more productive. Sharon began to hate going to work. She had loved the personal contact with her customers, but now she spent most of her time managing employees and trying to keep Warren calm.

Both women knew they were angry about their husbands‘ interference, but neither could communicate why. When the men discovered the cause of their spouses’ feelings during the coaching process, both were astonished to learn about the negative effects of genuinely trying to help their wives. Neither of the men had thought much about how they were going to find a meaningful way to fill their time after retirement, and simply picked up what was convenient. As the women learned to protect their own boundaries, the men each explored their own options for finding fulfilling activities.

The couples do not know each other.

Coaching Tip: Life planning for retirement is just as important as career planning before retirement.

Additional Information: Free Mini-Course: Secrets for Turning Difficult Conversations into Amazing Opportunities for Cooperation and Success

[tags]Coaching,Business Communication, life transitions, managing change, telling the truth[/tags]

The job itself was a wonderful change — almost too good to be true. Andrea’s superb reputation had led to her current assignment. When she met her boss, he informed her that he would like her to become his deputy and to prepare to take his position when he retired. She was expecting to continue doing project management work, and was stunned by his offer, which she immediately accepted. He set up a well thought-out training agenda with her that would allow her to familiarize herself with the unit, assist him, and gradually to assume additional responsibilities. Then her fantasies intensified.

As Andrea’s coach, I asked what she could do to shift her attention back to her work. Deciding she needed to clearly separate her current boss from her old lover in her mind, she wrote a letter to her old lover. She thanked him for the past relationship and reminded him of the reasons for ending it, and informed him of how her life had been developing. Then she destroyed the letter and the fantasies vanished. They were replaced by fears of being unable to master her new job. Doing a reality check about her fears demonstrated that they were completely unfounded. She was doing fine!

Nothing was wrong, but Andrea was reacting as if she was under great stress, and she was. As is often the case, a positive change had stimulated a reactive regression! Andrea was re-experiencing old, long-since resolved problems, and they weren’t even real problems. PAR, Progressive Abreactive Regression, a phenomena described by Arthur Stein, is a predictable regression that follows a breakthrough achievement. When we looked at the pattern, rather than the individual problems, Andrea realized that she had once more broken a self-created barrier, and just needed extra support until she got used to her new success. She arranged for extra nurturing from her family, friends, and her coach and is now thoroughly enjoying her new job.

Coaching tip: When strange things happen, look beyond the individual problems to the pattern they represent. PAR frequently accompanies success. What may look like a need for therapy may be a normal, easily managed coaching issue.

Additional Information: The Breakthrough Process
[tags] Managing Change, Managing Fear, New Job, Making Decisions, Life Transitions [/tags]

When I asked why she sold her business, she told me that the price was excellent, and that she was tired of the long hours, the responsibility to her customers and the difficulty in getting and keeping good employees. Her husband was due to retire in a few months. They had planned well and had enough money to live comfortably. She didn’t need a business to provide for herself and her family, and she didn’t want to tie herself down. Yet she valued something she no longer had, her identity as a business owner.

It had never occurred to Evelyn that by selling the business she had the thrust herself into a major life transition. Some transitions are expected — like getting married, having children, moving to a new city, divorce, etc. She had only expected relief at being out of the daily business grind. She did not expect to need to reinvent her life.

Really reinventing meant taking time to explore — not just to do something familiar to fill the time. Evelyn agreed to explore by doing a series of activities to help her discover what was meaningful and fun. She made a list of 100 things she loved to do and also listed “someday I’m gonna’s.” She looked through adult education catalogs and marked courses that seemed appealing. She fantasized her ideal day. She completed a major volunteer project. She kept asking, “when will I know what’s next?”

Gradually she realized that she wanted meaningful work without major responsibilities. She is temporarily teaching self-management skills and entrepreneurial skills to high school students in a local volunteer program. Since Evelyn’s husband has retired, they are exploring new options together, and enjoying the process.

Coaching tip: When someone is making a major life transition, time and tools for exploration and reevaluation are critical needs. Often the trip is more important than the destination.

Additional Information: Personal Development Blog
[tags] Life Transitions, Integrity, Making Decisions, Managing Change [/tags]