Richness is created from diversity. Sometimes survival depends on it. A series of exercises were once devised to simulate being lost on the moon, lost in the Arctic, lost at sea (in a lifeboat) or in some other life-threatening situation. 

Teams were given a list of resources and told to choose those that would be most important for their survival. They needed to reach consensus about which few items they could keep. Their choices were compared with choices made by true experts in each situation.

Research showed the teams did much better when everyone contributed their knowledge. When they deferred to "experts" on the team, important information from less knowledgeable players was omitted and team scores declined. The livelier the discussions (arguments???), the better the team scores seem to be.

Some things you can do to make this work on your team are:

• Describe the differences of opinion or perspective that you notice 
• Respectfully ask questions to clarify those differences
• Listen to the answers without unnecessary interruption
• Interrupt only to ask clarifying questions
• Do your best to understand the reasoning that leads to the differences
• If you disagree, challenge the idea and not the person
• Allow enough time to complete these important conversations.

Remember, when every one thinks alike important information is usually omitted. When everyone has the same skills tasks are completed in a lopsided way. When everything looks the same the view is boring. Go for the richness.

Free Mini-Course: Integrity — Use It or Lose It!

Free Mini-Course: Secrets for Turning Difficult Conversations into Amazing Opportunities for Cooperation and Success

Coaching, or paid professional mentoring, is replacing some of the traditional mentoring relationships of the past. It is one solution to the problem of helping overwhelmed and overstressed business people cope with the complexities of their turbulent and unstable business and personal environments.

In a turbulent workplace environment, a traditional mentoring relationship is increasingly unrealistic. Traditional mentors usually focus on helping a protégé achieve success in a specific company; a personal coach focuses on helping the client achieve success in general, in both business and personal arenas.

Coaching focuses on the various, often conflicting needs of the individual, rather than on achieving any narrow goal. In fact, the coaches first task is to help the client clarify his or her needs, desires and goals.

Coaching To Achieve Both Success And Balance

For someone consumed by work, the goal might be quite literally to help her get a life.

A VP in a large corporation, on the edge of burnout, was encouraged to drastically cut her 70-hour work week. She decided she could delegate more, insis on shorter E- mail messages, and sometimes work from home.

That problem was temporarily solved with fresh flowers, and now she enjoys using some of her newly recovered 20 hours a week to redecorate important areas of her home. She reports accomplishing more than ever at work, in less time and with less stress.

For individuals in a workplace which doesn‘t promote creativity or spontaneity, the goal might be to help them redefine their work in a way that allows them to enjoy it and achieve a “flow“ experience.

A manager who was bored and angry, cutting corners at work, felt that he was just hanging on until he could find something better. His coach supported him in searching for something better, but meanwhile insisted that he treat his current job differently.

By examining his job carefully, with the coach=s help, he found a way to streamline the work of his department, and became so fully involved in the process that he attracted recognition and a promotion.

For someone who is procrastinating about doing something important, the coach may teach the client to identify and move past the obstacles to success.

An entrepreneur is helped to break an enormous task into manageable chunks. She identifies which specific tasks she will accomplish in the next week. How many people she will call, whom she will meet with, which documents she will file, are all a part of the conversation. In the next session she reports success and elation.

Part 2 will describe a coaching process and look at selecting the coach you need.

Free Mini-Course: How to Have Important Conversations that Build Working Relationships

[tags]Management, Management Development,Human Resources,Business Communication, Coaching[/tags]

Becky’s work was so specialized that it was often difficult to delegate it to others. She would sometimes even take back jobs she had assigned to others when they had difficulty completing their work. Becky had been learning how to avoid taking back work when she devised a morale raising scheme.

She initiated a ” success award” in the Denver office of her firm. Becky chose the recipient of the first award, saying only that it was for someone who had done something exceptional. She deliberately did not define success. Instead, when she presented the award, she explained her reasons for honoring that person.

The whimsical award that Becky chose is a 28 inch tall wooden bird that she found in an antique store. The blue bird with orange and pink wings creates an incongruous decoration in the office or cubical of the recipient. It is impossible to miss.

Since one of Becky’s goals was to make others responsible for morale in the office, She then instructed the recipient that he was to choose someone else to receive the award, and present it at a regular weekly meeting. The recipient was required to explain his reason for passing on the award. This set up a situation where every week the award recipient became alert to what the good things that others were doing in the office. The recipient took on Becky’s responsibility for rewarding exemplary behavior.

One of the problems in the office was that people were working too many hours. Becky did need to step in and remind people that the award should not go to the person who worked the most hours. However she was careful not to assume the responsibility for passing on the award.

Becky reports with delight that not only has she cloned herself in this arena, but five months later, the award is still gaining prestige and momentum. The bird has become an honored and cherished symbol in the office. The bird is even arriving at meetings dressed differently every week. The atmosphere in the office has changed, and Becky no longer feels solely responsible for improving office morale.

*Design Workshop, Inc., is an international land planning and landscape architecture firm. Becky specializes in Strategic Services – market feasibility, economic analysis and tourism planning for resort and urban environments.

Coaching Tip: Enjoy being surprised and delighted when a highly creative client takes an idea and runs with it—and listen to one of Becky’s favorite tapes: Ken Blanchard’s “The One Minute Manager Meets the Monkey.”

Learn more about communicating with integrity in The Integrity Course, an online, multimedia home-study course to help you say what you think without getting fired or losing your friends.

[tags]Management, Management Development,Human Resources,Business Communication, Coaching[/tags]

Work delegated to busy junior professionals (attorneys, in Barbara’s case; accountants, architects, designers — you name it — in other situations), gets put into a pending pile. Little if any progress is made on completing the work until shortly before it is due. Time needed to complete the work is underestimated, and completing the work becomes extremely stressful.

Clients, whom the junior professionals may never have met, can be disappointed. The manager is frustrated because explaining the reasons for delays to clients is never fun. The manager is also frustrated because she has work of her own to complete, and does not want to spend her time checking up on others.

Many managers have procrastination problems of their own, largely because they have so many high priorities to juggle. The common problem that “management is a series of interruptions, interrupted by interruptions,“ causes them to arrive very early or stay very late to try to get their own work done.

Barbara’s responsibilities include monitoring attorney progress, workflow, marketing, cashflow, collections and billing, as well as strategic planning and staff management in a firm that includes 13 attorneys. Almost everything was going smoothly, except for the workflow monitoring. When challenged to create a system to make everyone responsible for their own work, she devised a brief, mandatory, weekly “Tasklists Anonymous“ meeting.

Her system is simple. Every task that is assigned to an attorney is placed on a list — a common practice in professional firms. However, Barbara takes this several steps further. Based on the premise that all work should be completed within 2-4 weeks, each professional‘s list is divided into three parts.
1. Tasks that must be done by next week.
2. Tasks that must be done by 2 weeks (from now) and/or should be done next week.
3. Tasks that must be done by 3 weeks (from now) and/or should be done by 2 weeks.

Her rule is that every task should move up to the next higher category every week! The way the rule is enforced is that everyone, including herself, presents their updated lists at the weekly “Tasklists Anonymous“ meeting. No penalties are necessary. Social pressure is enough. The work progresses, and Barbara has more time to devote to other priorities.

Coaching tip: When a problem persists, look for a system to that will solve it permanently.

Free Mini-Course: Secrets for Turning Difficult Conversations into Amazing Opportunities for Cooperation and Success
[tags]Business Communication, Coaching,Human Resources, Leadership,Management[/tags]

The most dangerous pitfall is that your clients may expect you to single-handedly design and implement a solution that will fix everything. The next most dangerous pitfall is for you to try to meet those expectations.

Successful conflict intervention professionals do not “fix” things for their clients. Instead, they lead clients through the process of resolving their own issues in a supportive and effective manner.

Avoid the Traps

You will have to avoid many traps to successfully help others to resolve conflict.

The first trap is often an invitation to accept at face value the client’s definition of the problem and what is needed to solve it, for instance, the client’s belief that more training is needed in cases where the real issue is suppressed or unidentified conflict.

You will need to look behind the explanation you are offered. You’ll need to discover the needs, issues and values the explanation represents, if you are to assist clients in finding creative, appropriate options for solving their problems.

Another trap may be your eagerness to assist your clients without first determining whether they really want to solve their problems. Help your client explore the implications and risks, as well as the benefits, of dealing with potentially painful issues. This helps your client make a solid commitment to working with fundamental issues and letting go of problems that may have provided secret benefits.

A third trap you may face is the invitation to take sides and judge the rightness or wrongness of someone’s position in a conflict situation. It is important to stay impartial and help clarify possible effects of various actions.

Be particularly wary of attempts to get rid of troublemakers in various ways.

Often the “troublemaker” has a great deal of energy available to help resolve the problem. A person who cares enough to “make trouble” really cares about the prob1em and needs to be included in the resolution process.

Another pitfall is the possibility that you will move too quickly into areas that clients consider risky. If you scare your client, even accidentally, you may get hostility instead of cooperation

Your ability to be of value in the conflict situation depends upon your not being thrown out by an angry client. If you stay sensitive to your client’s fears, you may be able to avoid this hazard.

Stay Focused: Avoid the Drama

Getting involved in the drama of a conflict situation can also be a trap.

All drama involves victims, persecutors and rescuers. You may be greatly tempted to rescue your clients by proposing solutions prematurely, before they have brought their own information and resources to bear on the problem.

Rescues usually lead to dramatic role switches in which the consultant more often than not winds up in the victim position, criticized or even fired.

You will be a far more effective helper if you look for the needs, interests and values behind the roles and clarify them for everyone involved. Stimulate a search for options, instead of giving in to the temptation to reach a dramatic solution.

Accepting your role as a conflict intervention professional is a challenge. Your larger challenge as an executive, manager or HRD professional may be to change the perception of conflict from an unpleasant problem to an opportunity for change and growth.

Many of the lessons in The Integrity Course discuss practical ways to identify and resolve conflict.
[tags]Coaching, Business Communication, Conflict, Difficult Communication, Integrity, Management, Emotional Intelligence, Human Resources,Management Development, Managing Change, Managing Fear, Manging Conflict[/tags]

The questions you must keep in mind will help your clients to identify the problem, identify the goal they want to achieve and discover the areas in which they already agree.

Here are some questions to keep in mind that will help you and your clients to resolve the conflict.

Identifying the problem:

• Do the participants know what their problem is?
• Do they need your help in order to define it?
• Is the problem actually within the group, or is it a symptom of conflict?
• Are clients arguing about solutions before the important issues have been identified?
• What issues are being avoided or brought up in conversation and then quickly dropped?
• What are the group’s sacred cows?
• Is there an elephant — something that is obvious that nobody is willing to talk about — in the vicinity?

Identifying the goal

• What is the desired overall result?
• Do all participants agree on that goal? If not, is there a larger goal on which they agree?
• Does disagreement concern the goal itself, or only the means by which the goal should be attained?

Establishing areas of agreement

• On what issues do all participants agree? If you begin the conflict resolution process by establishing a climate of agreement, it is easier for the participants to accept that an agreeable solution can be reached.

Behavioral and communication patterns are often just as important to understanding the situation as are specific areas of disagreement. Keep these questions in mind as well to help you understand what happens from moment to moment.

• To whom is most of the communication in the group addressed?
• Are remarks responded to politely?
• Are speakers interrupted?
• Who directs traffic?
• Who doesn’t respond at all?
• How do individuals within the group position themselves in relation to each other?
• What does their body language imply?
• Are verbal and physical messages congruent?
• Who is active?
• Who is passive?
• Who facilitates the process?
• Who creates obstacles to clarification?
• Are unwritten rules interfering with resolution of this conflict?
• If so, how can the group be made aware have and dispense with them?

This may seem like an overwhelming number of things to keep in mind. An expert in conflict resolution is probably aware of most of them most of the time. The more of these questions you’re able to keep in mind the more effective and helpful you will be in a situation.

Remember it’s your job to help your clients resolve their conflict, not to do it for them.

Many of the lessons in The Integrity Course discuss practical ways to identify and resolve conflict.

[tags]Business Communication, Conflict, Difficult Communication, Human Resources,Management,Managing Conflict[/tags]

1. Before you ask anything, gather as much information as you can about a situation by careful observation.

• Listen to the topics that are discussed
• Notice topics that are not discussed.
• Pay attention to nonverbal clues—posture, tone of voice
• Notice relative power positions of the people present in the situation—even furniture placement and seating arrangements.

2. Think about what additional information you need to better understand the situation. Look for the missing pieces.

3. Use your intuition. What is your hunch or guess about what is going on? What do you wish you knew?

4. Ask questions only when you are truly unsure of what the answers will be.

5. Listen carefully to the answers that are presented to you. Give it your full attention.

Ask clarifying questions only if you cannot understand the answer you are hearing.
Wait until the answer is complete before you comment on it.

Treat everyone with respect — avoid being condescending in any way.

6. Never ask a question when you are already sure what the answer is. The only reason to do this is to catch someone else doing something wrong. If you do this, others will sense it and feel resentful or put down, even if you think you are being subtle.

7. Be willing to be vulnerable. Take responsibility for your own mistakes or lack of information. In this situation, saving face (your own) is not nearly as important as helping others save face!

8. If you feel attacked or challenged by the answer to one of your questions,
do not defend yourself. Respond by stating your understanding of what was said. Ask if your understanding is accurate.

9. Keep asking questions until you are sure you understand what you need to know about the situation, and as long as others are willing to respond to you.

10. Thank everyone who is present.

Learn more about communicating with integrity in The Integrity Course, an online, multimedia home-study course to help you say what you think without getting fired or losing your friends

[tags]Management,Coaching, Conflict, Difficult Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Human Resources[/tags]

First understand that the process of conflict intervention can take almost any length of time, from a few minutes to several years. Steps in the process include:

• help the participants identify their own needs, interests and values;
• discover their mutual and complementary needs;
• clarify areas of disagreement and search further for the bases of those disagreements;
• invent options for mutual gain; communicate effectively about those options;
• reach clear and complete agreements based on objective criteria.

Although strategies for intervening in conflict can be varied and creative, successful intervention strategies do have certain themes in common. The single most important guideline is to insist that all parties to the conflict be treated with respect.

Each participant has needs, issues and values which are, from his or her perspective, valid and important. If these are threatened by disrespect, the individual is likely to become frightened, show anger, escalate unreasonable demands and try to win at someone else’s expense.

Individuals and groups of individuals are all attempting to achieve results they believe will cause them to survive, be satisfied or happy, or reach a goal they value. They also have differing needs, wants, ideas, opinions, values, goals and methods of operation.

Conflict arises when the goal-directed behavior of one person or group interferes with the goal-directed behavior of another.

Few individuals engaged in conflict actually intend to be destructive. Each intends some positive outcome (from his or her own perspective), and the damage done to someone else’s territory is either accidental or seen as necessary to achieve a greater good.

When you are helping to resolve a conflict, it is important to keep in mind that conflict arises from attempts to attain positive results. Often the antagonists are even in agreement on the desired results and disagree only on the means for attaining them.

The problem is they may be so embroiled in the conflict that they do not know that they have a basic and fundamental agreement. They may be so focused on arguing about details and so angry at each other that they blame each other for the lack of resolution.

Your first job may be to get them to calm down and talk to each other with your main function being to direct traffic.

Remember that everyone involved already has, somewhere within themselves, the resources necessary for resolving their problem. Your job is not to tell them what to do.

Your most important job is to know what questions to ask to help clarify the situation and assist them in tapping their own resources.

Many of the lessons in The Integrity Course discuss practical ways to identify and resolve conflict.
[tags]Business Communication, Conflict, Difficult Communication, Human Resources,Management,Manging Conflict[/tags]

If you’re an executive, manager or human you resource professional, managing conflict is probably part of your job. So is recognizing when hidden conflict is the source of a problem.

The very word, conflict, has a negative impact on most people: you associate the word with war, destruction, hostility and pain. When you think of conflict as negative, even dangerous, you probably tend to avoid it whenever possible rather than learn how to deal with it effectively.

Conflict within an organization is not necessarily negative. In fact, it is a valuable potential source of energy for achieving organizational goals. Effective conflict intervention can help transform a conflict situation into an opportunity for change, growth and development of creative solutions to an organization’s most difficult problems.

Conflict may be open or hidden. It is relatively easy to focus on visible conflict. Suppressed conflict may be more difficult to identify and may masquerade as a variety of symptoms such as low energy, high stress, diminishing productivity, high turnover, poor quality of decision making, defensive behavior, nit-picking and so on.

Whether the conflict is visible or hidden, if you are the one who must manage it you need to be aware of its source and its contribution to the identified problem, as well as having resources for helping your group deal effectively with the problem itself.

You need to be able to:

• identify the actual problem;
• elicit the client’s goals in regard to the problem;
• establish initial areas of agreement among the antagonists;
• observe objectively and identify the continual processes of the group or organization;
• be aware of potential pitfalls and the ability to avoid them;
• help everyone generate options in which all participants will win.

You need to be able to bring hidden conflict to the surface.

Suppressed conflict within an organization can be a far greater problem than open conflict. When divergent ideas are not expressed, energy and information are lost to the group.

Any group or organization problem may be masking suppressed or unacknowledged conflict. Bringing that conflict into the open provides an opportunity for successful resolution.

If underlying conflict issues are ignored, they do not go away. Instead, they surface as a series of different problems: “If it’s not one damn thing, it’s another.” As each problem arises, it is often regarded as something that can be solved by training.

When training is provided, however, the impact is minimal; in fact, the training often seems to have vanished shortly after its completion. When training fails, one should suspect suppressed or unidentified conflict within the organization.

Many of the lessons in The Integrity Course discuss practical ways to identify and resolve conflict.

[tags]Coaching, Manging Conflict, Conflict,Business Communication, Difficult Communication, Management, Management Development,Human Resources [/tags]