Assume that differences are opportunities for exploration. When you take the position that you are right and others are wrong, nobody wins.

Richness is created from diversity. Sometimes survival depends on it. A series of exercises were once devised to simulate being lost on the moon, lost in the Arctic, lost at sea (in a lifeboat) or in some other life-threatening situation. 

Teams were given a list of resources and told to choose those that would be most important for their survival. They needed to reach consensus about which few items they could keep. Their choices were compared with choices made by true experts in each situation.

Research showed the teams did much better when everyone contributed their knowledge. When they deferred to "experts" on the team, important information from less knowledgeable players was omitted and team scores declined. The livelier the discussions (arguments???), the better the team scores seem to be.

Some things you can do to make this work on your team are:

• Describe the differences of opinion or perspective that you notice 
• Respectfully ask questions to clarify those differences
• Listen to the answers without unnecessary interruption
• Interrupt only to ask clarifying questions
• Do your best to understand the reasoning that leads to the differences
• If you disagree, challenge the idea and not the person
• Allow enough time to complete these important conversations.

Remember, when every one thinks alike important information is usually omitted. When everyone has the same skills tasks are completed in a lopsided way. When everything looks the same the view is boring. Go for the richness.

Free Mini-Course: Integrity — Use It or Lose It!

Free Mini-Course: Secrets for Turning Difficult Conversations into Amazing Opportunities for Cooperation and Success

written by Laurie Weiss \\ tags: Business Communication, Coaching, Difficult Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Human Resources, Making Decisions

Need a Life? Get a Coach

Coaching, or paid professional mentoring, is replacing some of the traditional mentoring relationships of the past. It is one solution to the problem of helping overwhelmed and overstressed business people cope with the complexities of their turbulent and unstable business and personal environments.

In a turbulent workplace environment, a traditional mentoring relationship is increasingly unrealistic. Continue reading »

written by Laurie Weiss

Like many executives, Becky Zimmermann, a partner in Design Workshop*, thought that coaching might help her to clone herself. Among her other important responsibilities, she considered it her job to enhance morale in the intense, dedicated, culture in her office. However she was overburdened with many other activities.

Becky’s work was so specialized that it was often difficult to delegate it to others. Continue reading »

written by Laurie Weiss

Barbara Wells, Managing Partner at Minor and Brown, has found a solution to a problem that plagues many managers in professional firms.

Work delegated to busy junior professionals (attorneys, in Barbara’s case; accountants, architects, designers — you name it — in other situations), gets put into a pending pile. Little if any progress is made on completing the work until shortly before it is due. Continue reading »

written by Laurie Weiss

If you are going to help people resolve conflict, you should be aware of potential pitfalls that can undermine the entire process.

The most dangerous pitfall is that your clients may expect you to single-handedly design and implement a solution that will fix everything. The next most dangerous pitfall is for you to try to meet those expectations.

Successful conflict intervention professionals do not “fix” things for their clients. Instead, they lead clients through the process of resolving their own issues in a supportive and effective manner.

Avoid the Traps

You will have to avoid many traps to successfully help others to resolve conflict.

The first trap is often an invitation to accept at face value the client’s definition of the problem and what is needed to solve it, for instance, the client’s belief that more training is needed in cases where the real issue is suppressed or unidentified conflict.

You will need to look behind the explanation you are offered. You’ll need to discover the needs, issues and values the explanation represents, if you are to assist clients in finding creative, appropriate options for solving their problems.

Another trap may be your eagerness to assist your clients without first determining whether they really want to solve their problems. Help your client explore the implications and risks, as well as the benefits, of dealing with potentially painful issues. This helps your client make a solid commitment to working with fundamental issues and letting go of problems that may have provided secret benefits.

A third trap you may face is the invitation to take sides and judge the rightness or wrongness of someone’s position in a conflict situation. It is important to stay impartial and help clarify possible effects of various actions.

Be particularly wary of attempts to get rid of troublemakers in various ways.

Often the “troublemaker” has a great deal of energy available to help resolve the problem. A person who cares enough to “make trouble” really cares about the prob1em and needs to be included in the resolution process.

Another pitfall is the possibility that you will move too quickly into areas that clients consider risky. If you scare your client, even accidentally, you may get hostility instead of cooperation

Your ability to be of value in the conflict situation depends upon your not being thrown out by an angry client. If you stay sensitive to your client’s fears, you may be able to avoid this hazard.

Stay Focused: Avoid the Drama

Getting involved in the drama of a conflict situation can also be a trap.

All drama involves victims, persecutors and rescuers. You may be greatly tempted to rescue your clients by proposing solutions prematurely, before they have brought their own information and resources to bear on the problem.

Rescues usually lead to dramatic role switches in which the consultant more often than not winds up in the victim position, criticized or even fired.

You will be a far more effective helper if you look for the needs, interests and values behind the roles and clarify them for everyone involved. Stimulate a search for options, instead of giving in to the temptation to reach a dramatic solution.

Accepting your role as a conflict intervention professional is a challenge. Your larger challenge as an executive, manager or HRD professional may be to change the perception of conflict from an unpleasant problem to an opportunity for change and growth.

Many of the lessons in The Integrity Course discuss practical ways to identify and resolve conflict.
[tags]Coaching, Business Communication, Conflict, Difficult Communication, Integrity, Management, Emotional Intelligence, Human Resources,Management Development, Managing Change, Managing Fear, Manging Conflict[/tags]

written by Laurie Weiss

When you’ve taken on the task of helping others resolve conflict, your most important job is to know what questions must be answered to help clarify the situation. The more of these questions you can answer, Continue reading »

written by Laurie Weiss

Especially when you are in a situation where a misstep can cause real problems… Continue reading »

written by Laurie Weiss

When it’s clear that a conflict exists and you are the one who must do something about it, Continue reading »

written by Laurie Weiss

When you’re the one who must deal with conflict, do you know what to do?

If you’re an executive, manager or human you resource professional, managing conflict is probably Continue reading »

written by Laurie Weiss