When you take risks and operate with integrity; when you consider other people's needs as well as your own; when you think about long term situations instead of short-term gains; and when you really tell the truth; you can achieve amazing results.
Learning to do this well requires skill and practice. This is especially true when you need information in a confusing situation. It's especially true when you're in a situation where a misstep can cause real problems.
The following steps will help you practice the skills you need to achieve results and gain respect in the workplace.
1. Before you ask anything, gather as much information as you can about a situation by careful observation.
* Listen to the topics that are discussed
* Notice topics that are not discussed.
* Pay attention to nonverbal clues-posture, tone of voice
* Notice relative power positions of the people present in the situation-even furniture placement and seating arrangements.
2. Think about what additional information you need to better understand the situation. Look for the missing pieces.
3. Use your intuition. What is your hunch or guess about what is going on? What do you wish you knew?
4. Ask questions only when you are truly unsure of what the answers will be.
5. Listen carefully to the answers that are presented to you. Give it your full attention.
Ask clarifying questions only if you cannot understand the answer you are hearing. Wait until the answer is complete before you comment on it.
Treat everyone with respect – avoid being condescending in any way.
6. Never ask a question when you are already sure what the answer is. The only reason to do this is to catch someone else doing something wrong. If you do this, others will sense it and feel resentful or put down, even if you think you are being subtle.
7. Be willing to be vulnerable. Take responsibility for your own mistakes or lack of information. In this situation, saving face (your own) is not nearly as important as helping others save face!
8. If you feel attacked or challenged by the answer to one of your questions,
do not defend yourself. Respond by stating your understanding of what was said. Ask if your understanding is accurate.
9. Keep asking questions until you are sure you understand what you need to know about the situation, and as long as others are willing to respond to you.
10. Thank everyone who is present.
If you enjoyed this article The Integrity Course will provide much more information I believe will be useful to you. Included in this course are stories of how over 25 people confronted issues about integrity in the workplace. http://www.TheIntegrityCourse.com
Great article, I think it's especially important to pay attention to non-verbal cues. It's amazing how much they can reveal.
For more on the topic, check out this article…
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2747457/effective_nonverbal_communication_in.html
Graham, Thanks for helping my readers get more information on a critically important subject. I also like your followup article about Posture and Space at http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2755577/effective_nonverbal_communication_in_pg2.html?cat=3
Laurie
I would like to see an article about how to operate in integrity in a live chat room. There are no physical cues to go by, only the typed word. You can't go by vocal inflection, the look on their face, or their body language. It's all about the typing. Most of the time you don't even have historical cues about an individual, because you may know them at all outside of the chat room. I can see where a lot of the tips would apply in a chat room, but not all by any means. One of the most difficult things to avoid is being misunderstood. When you are chatting with a group, most of the time the order of the replies gets mixed up on the screen, and that can lead to misunderstandings. This is a difficult media to deal with, but one we all need to master in this technological world we live in. I'll be looking for your take on this topic. Thanks for all you do.