Dare To Say It Survey

How Well Do You Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say?

Check the number of each item that is true for you most of the time when you are at work.

1. I know what I want to accomplish when I share difficult or unpleasant information.
2. When I have important information others don’t want to hear, I share it anyway.
3. I make judgments about how valid information is depending upon its source.
4. I expect people to lie occasionally.
5. I truly believe that people are always doing the best they can with their available resources.
6. I have good observation skills.
7. I can observe a conversation even when I am participating in it.
8. I know when I’m ignoring something important.
9. I am aware of my own emotions.
10. I know that emotional responses are an important source of information.
11. I know that there is a difference between what I see, feel and hear and the conclusions that I reach about the meaning of those observations.
12. I invite others to tell me what they see, feel and hear.
13. I let others know I respect and value them even when I disagree with them.
14. I listen to others without interrupting them.
15. I ask clarifying questions to fully understand what others think, feel and believe.
16. I often ask others what they believe before I tell them what I believe.
17. I am tactful about how I share difficult information.
18. I think independently before I accept others explanations of complicated situations.
19. I think before I speak.
20. I avoid telling white lies to protect other people’s feelings.

Number of YES answers:

0-4 You are very cautious about sharing your thoughts.
5-8 You may be trying too hard to be nice.
9-12 You are polite and careful about saying what you think.
13-16 You are willing to speak out when you believe that it is important to do so.
17-20 You are willing to take a stand for your point of view.

Take The Next Step:

0-4 You are very cautious about sharing your thoughts.

• Notice what happens to others in your situation who risk sharing their thoughts.
• Evaluate whether or not your fears are realistic.
• Carefully observe a polite, assertive person in action.

5-8 You may be trying too hard to be nice.

• Notice how real people respond when others tell them about problems.
• Start viewing confrontation as a way to help someone face something important.
• Ask questions to clarify your observations.

9-12 You are polite and careful about saying what you think.

• Notice your own impulses to share or keep quiet about your thoughts.
• Learn the skills necessary to safely and skillfully say what you are thinking.
• Observe the negative consequences of keeping quiet instead of speaking up.

13-16 You are willing to speak out when you believe that it is important to do so.

• Stay aware of the “big picture.”
• Keep making choices about when and where to speak up.
• Learn advanced communication skills to enhance your effectiveness.

17-20 You are willing to take a stand for your point of view.

• Learn why others are so much less assertive than you are.
• Relax about being seen as tough, rude or pushy.
• Use your leadership skills to help others learn to share their thoughts effectively.

Resources to help you with taking all of these steps are available in the special report, Dare To Say It: How to Have Important Conversations that Build Working Relationships and The Integrity Course.

[tags]Self-Management, Telling the Truth,Emotional Intelligence, Integrity,Business Communication, Coaching[/tags]