These guidelines were created by Dr. Angeles Arrien, and can be used as a spiritual way of describing dialogue.

1. Show Up and Choose to be Present

Show up means nobody is allowed to come as an empty chair. Be present.

2. Pay Attention to What Has Heart and Meaning

That means pay attention to the things that sing to you. We have so many things demanding our attention in our lives. There is advertising coming at us thousands of times every day. Everything we encounter, everything we look at, shouts come here, look here, give me your eyeballs. We are also constantly exposed to our own inner conversations and judgments. It is often very difficult to focus on what is really important to us.

3. Tell the Truth without Blame or Judgment

This is not just telling somebody else the truth, it’s telling myself to my own truth.

Example: I say to myself, “She is so wrong she is (expletive deleted) because…” It helps to ask myself the question, what in me is like her? How come I got so upset by that? I need to tell the truth to myself about me before telling my truth to others.

4. Be Open to Outcome, not Attached to Outcome

Be interested in what’s happening, but don’t be attached to it. Be open to whatever happens, knowing it doesn’t have to happen in a particular way. When you start an important conversation it doesn’t have to end up in any particular place. Once concerns and feelings are talked about, the original concern may no longer be important.

Learn more about communicating with integrity in The Integrity Course, an online, multimedia home-study course to help you say what you think without getting fired or losing your friends.

[tags]Business Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Integrity, Leadership, Making Decisions, Self-Management, Telling the Truth[/tags]

written by Laurie Weiss