You may struggle when it’s time to say something sensitive or potentially upsetting to someone you work with. However, sometimes it is necessary to discuss things that must be changed in order for the relationship to continue on a positive note.
Here are the first four of nine steps you can use to help you communicate this important information without losing friends and without getting fired.
1. Know your objective for this conversation.
What you want to happen when the conversation ends?
How do you want to feel?
How do you want the other person to feel?
Do you want some action to be taken? What is it?
How you know when you’re done?
2. Ask questions. It’s difficult to understand the reasons for someone else’s behavior. Often the simplest way to get this kind of information is to simply ask for it. This information will give you what you need to know about the current situation in order to be most likely to reach your own objective. Who else has information you need? Can you research it? Where?
3. Use “I” messages during the conversation to describe how you feel about the situation. You need to express how you feel without sounding as if you are attacking someone else. Start your sentences with I feel, I wish, I’m curious, or I need. Avoid using the word “you” in your sentences.
4. Describe behavior rather than what you believe about the motivation for any particular behavior. Describe what happened as a television camera might have recorded it. Leave out your judgment about what happened.
[This list will be continued in the following post.]
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[tags]Conflict, Difficult Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Self-Management, Telling the Truth, Managing Conflict[/tags]
